As much fun as the holidays can be, they can also be just as stressful. Planning parties, decorating the house, shopping for gifts, the extra expenses...these can all take their tolls and leave one feeling exhausted and/or frustrated. This can be especially true for someone who has the added responsibility of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's disease.
     A very common symptom of Alzheimer's is a rise in anxiety.  Even the simplest of changes from their daily routine may confuse, disorient or anger them.  Holiday gatherings and parties can easily become overwhelming for the person with Alzheimer's.  Even the preparation of the event can cause anxieties.  If you are caring for someone at home, there are many things to consider. Undoubtedly, there will be changes that have to be made that may interrupt "traditions".  For most families, these traditions have come to symbolize their holiday season. 
A common example would be:  Grandma has always held Thanksgiving dinner at her house and, like my grandma, insisted on cooking everything herself. However, this year, she is also caring for grandpa who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's earlier in the year.  He is easily agitated around large groups of people and tires quickly. Some changes will need to be made, but often times meet resistance from other family members or even the care givers them self.  It could be that grandma may not want to give up her "role" as the hostess or she does realize that she won't have time, but feelings of guilt prohibit her from asking for help or canceling altogether.  Other family members may be unsure of how to approach grandma with offers of help and, sadly, there may be some who don't understand the process and the level of commitment and time it takes for caring for someone with Alzheimer's.  They focus on the "changes" that are occurring and can even be resentful. As these changes in tradition occur, it is common for family dynamics to change as well.
     Keeping all of this in mind, Carrie Hill, Ph.D., has offered several tips to help family care givers to not only cope, but to enjoy the holidays as well.

Prepare your family for the holiday gathering. (Contact invitees and describe in plain terms how
     their relative has changed since their last visit.  If necessary, send articles and source
     material describing Alzheimer's and it's effects.)
 Give yourself permission to ask for help. (If you've always been in charge of the holiday
     gathering, consider letting someone else host, or others help out with preparing, cooking and
     clean up.)
Get feedback from your family AFTER the holidays. (Family members may be tempted to give advice
     and/or criticisms about the care you are providing.  Set a date after the holidays to discuss
     concerns and address issues.  Best to state this to the guests beforehand.  Make it clear that
     the focus is to be on the gathering.)
Lean on people who understand. (If for various reasons, family members fail to understand or are
     unsympathetic towards your caregiving situation, reach out to support groups or others who
     have experiences similar to yours.)

Dr. Hill goes on to stress the importance of the care giver to take care of themselves as well. Getting plenty of rest, eating well and taking time out for yourself is all necessary to being a good care giver.  You obviously can't take care of another  very well if you yourself are sick, tired or become resentful.  The holidays should be enjoyed, even if it means breaking rations. Look for ways to start new rations in your family, that incorporate the needs of those with Alzheimer's as well as those who care for them.

If you have any comments or stories you would like to share about the holidays and caring for someone with Alzheimer's please share it here.  Your experiences could greatly benefit someone who may be dealing with similar issues or just recently became a caregiver themselves. 
                   

WISHING EVERYONE A WONDERFUL & HEALTHY HOLIDAY SEASON